Sunday, September 6, 2009

It's been a rough week for all of us here at the Nolan home.  We're holding vigil by Bill's  living room bedside but it is not easy to see him this way.  I don't think he is in much pain which is a good thing, but he is not really awake or coherent very much of the time either.  To put it bluntly, we are watching him deteriorate and the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming at times.  
 
We're (the kids and I) trying to stay positive, remembering stories and good times, looking through the pictures from a lifetime together and sometimes that works for a while.  We are lucky in that we have so many family members and friends offering their love and support.  We know we are blessed in that respect, thank you.  I feel as if we have actually been grieving for the past 18 months and sometimes I think I'm going to run out of steam.  But I guess God knows how much a person can take and hopefully I can remain strong for as long as it takes.  

Hosparus (Hospice) is a wonderful resource from where we sit.  They have already been a huge help and their services extend beyond the medication and medical equipment.  We are grateful for their support.  

I hope this part doesn't linger.  I think he has suffered enough.  Holly



2 comments:

Unknown said...

Holly,
Not one step during your journey & battle with cancer, as a family, has been easy. But Bill & you have shown so many of us how to live life fully, during a time that is the hardest challenge. Your love for each other provided that strength to keep joy in your days together.
I will pray for Bill's peace and for you.
love,
kathleen

sundog459 said...

Strength is amazing thing. It seems at times to wane, yet the source is never-ending. You are the poster child of strength, Holly. Your family and your friends support you on this most difficult of journeys, and you show us the way.

I love you,
Annie